I just got a man arrested.  Fuck yeah.

When I was going to get a haircut earlier, the parking lot was full and I had to park somewhere else.  I saw a disabled-persons minivan (ones with the mechanical ramp and stuff) QUADRUPLE-parked on a regular parking spot (all the handicap spots were wide open), the van was sitting diagonal in 4 spots, where others could have parked.  Look, I'm sympathetic towards the disabled (I know a few myself), but that doesn't give them the right to take up FOUR parking spots, especially in a parking lot thats usually crowded.  So as usual, I decided to be the asshole and leave a nice little note on their windshield-- believe me, I was very polite in that note, simply because the van belongs to a disabled person.  In fact, the note, word-by-word, read:

"Please use the designated parking area, they are usually open and therefore you won't take up anyone else's parking spots.  Thank you.   --A Concerned Driver"

So I walk into the hair salon and sign in, and out of nowhere, a short, grumpy middle-aged man grabbed me and tried to shove me into the wall while pinning that piece of paper I just wrote on my chest.... all while cursing at me.  I don't need to explain what I had to do in self-defense, but lets just say I had to pay $45 bucks for damages done to the store while manhandling him.  I didn't feel bad for him, even if it was his car-- I wouldn't really have minded him cussing me out to a certain extent, but instead he resorted to physical confrontation-- that is just unforgiveable, and I was acting in no more than self-defense.

After exchanging a few hostile words (I even said sorry for putting the note on his car, no need to get physical here), he walks back to his car.  As it turns out, THE VAN DID NOT BELONG TO HIM.  NO!  It was just some nosy good-samaritan asking for a death wish by physically assaulting someone!  Now I REALLY wished that I had ripped out his spinal cord on the spot when he first laid a finger on me.  He went into a red Hummer H2 across the end of the parking lot where I could see him, and sat there the entire time.

An hour later after I was done waiting (forever) and getting my haircut, the crazy toolbag was still sitting out there in his H2, evil-eyeing me as I walked back to my car.  I don't know what the fuck he's up to, but I did not hesitate to call the cops and take down his plate number.  I waited until the cops came by, walked them over to the man's truck, and the cops took us into the hair salon where we were both questioned, along with the witnesses-- and finally they cuffed him and took him away for charges of aggrevated assault.

I find out from the cops later that he has three previous charges of domestic violence and assault (gee what a flippin' surprise), and he's definately looking at some jail time, as long as I'm willing to testify against him.  My response?

"I hope your asshole rots in jail, tough guy."

Seriously now, what the hell is WRONG with people?

.......................................

EDIT

I just realized something-- I'm getting old.  I thought to myself, "what would I have done 4 years ago?"  The outcome would obviously be much more different, especially on the violence scale.  Well, age doesn't mean that you still won't act on impulse, like the aforementioned asshole.  But sometimes when you're about to make a conscious choice that will determine the outcome of a problem, you just have to think to yourself....

"What would Chuck Norris do?"

Our friend definately followed those words of wisdom, which ended up into something like one of those Dave Chappelle's "When Keepin' it Real goes Wrong" skits.

What I'm trying to say is, unless you're the Chuckmeister himself-- kicking ass and taking names while chewing bubble gum will sometimes get you into a lot of trouble.

How do those elitist car salesmen even get business?  I was at an Infiniti dealership today helping my boy Ted and his wife look for a new car, which he chose to get a G35x all-wheel drive sedan.  VERY nice car, a family sedan I would consider getting myself (unless they made an all-wheel drive Acura TL).  So Ted's looking for a new G35x, while I'm looking to trade my Acura with the G35 coupe--  So we negotiate a deal with our salesperson, a young guy, new to the job (easy to influence), but generally a polite guy.  But since he doesn't deal with the financing, nor does he make any final calls due to him being the FNG (fuckin' new guy), he still has to consult with his boss.  Those older salespeople are extremely hard to deal with, especially with their elitist streak.

"Is this deal possible sir?", I asked the older gentleman.

"NO," was his reply.  "Its an Infiniti, you should know better."

What the fuck was that all about?  I mean, I've heard stories from Lexus dealerships (my friend Sam is a Lexus dealer), and even he claims the older guys will pull the "its a Lexus" crap with their customers.  I understand that with luxury brand dealerships, people are usually prepared to pay a king's ransom on-the-spot for a car, and generally are rich enough to not care about negotiating for a deal.  But do they ever consider the financial shortcomings of the younger generation of buyers?  That shit just really doesn't work with younger guys like me, we're not old enough to have like 10 million shares in some wealthy corporation to fund any excessive material needs-- we NEED the bargain.  Those old guys that pull the "Its a [insert luxury brand]" line should really re-think their sales strategy if they want to stay in business.

"Sorry sir," I told the older sales guy.  "I was going to walk out of this showroom with a car tonight, but you just lost yourself a customer."  The younger FNG tried his best to reason with me and his boss, but the old guy didn't even flinch and just walked away.  I kind of felt bad for FNG-- young guy's trying to make a living, and his boss basically stopped him from getting paid.  FNG looked pissed.

Then again, it IS an Infiniti.  Those cars are no joke.

For my time at a hookah bar, I was quite disappointed that they didn't serve alcohol there.  Then again, it was past 2am so that could have possibly be the reason why they looked at me like I was crazy when I asked why they wouldn't give me a beer to go along with the hookah pipe.

Nicole if you're reading this, let me remind you for the 462,248,769,141,234th time that you should serve alcohol in your hookah bar if you're ever planning on opening one.  I mean, God forbid anyone gets in trouble because of the lethal combination of mixed alcohol and flavored tobacco together.

yeah, double pipes beyotch.  like how I double-fist my drinks.

lets just hope this crap doesn't make me pop my next piss test.

.........

Oh, poor Ted too.  Some desperate tool decided to jack his foglight covers on his coveted Subie.

seriously now.

Almost makes me ashamed of driving that car, if I actually owned it.  Even the 300-horsepower motor wouldn't make me happy with naked foglights.  Like running a marathon without wearing pants.

What's with me and the whole no-pants thing?  Some people think I should cut down on my drinking, but I think they're all crazy.  Yep, kuh-RAY-zy.  Asking me to cut down on my alcohol intake is like asking me to vote for Hillary..... I have no idea how that relates at all, but you get the point.

I was walking to my Speech class (the all-female one) earlier and as I entered the door, everyone stared at me and gasped.  Not the holy-shit stare, but the holy-shit-what-the-hell-is-that stare.  Sarcastically, I remark,

"Whats up?  Why's everyone looking at me like I'm covered in glitter with no pants on?"

"But, Chris," they reply.  "You ARE covered in glitter, and you DON'T have any pants on."

I looked down at myself, and sure enough, they were right.  They all start laughing at me (you can make up your own silly Asian jokes about the pants) and there's really nothing I can do right then, but laugh so hard to the point where I woke myself up in the middle of the night in a fit of convulsive laughter.

And you thought it was for real, hah.

Does anyone else besides me notice that whenever you get completely wasted one night and wake up the next day, your fingernails seem to have grown out like crazy?  I even cut them yesterday too.  Seriously now, does alcohol make your fingernails grow?

Someone help me out here, and end my misery by answering this mystery for me.

EDIT

Not only fingernails, but facial hair too.  Kuh-RAY-zay.

I keep thinking back to my old car purchase, did you think I should have gotten this car instead?

2006 Impreza WRX limited edition (heated leather seats, and heated just about everything else you can see, and HID lamps)

At first, knowing it would cost me close to $29k after taxes for a WRX, I didn't think it was worth it.... the Acura was decently quick, with a 6-speed manual and had better gas mileage too.  But now that I think about it, the limited edition WRX has basically the same creature comforts (same freaking seats too!), but has a much better performance value (226hp turbo B-4 AWD vs. the Acura's 210hp n/a I-4 FWD).  I don't know, maybe I should have gotten the Subaru and paid that extra money.  Would have been a better Ricer-Hunter/Killer anyway.

Oh well, I saved more money with an Acura in the longrun.  Its already a rice-eater in its own worth, nothing beats that 8100 rpm redline.  Except when my boy Ted got his STi, my manhood sort of shrinks every time I'm driving next to him.

............

By the way, don't you hate it when you see people smoking cigarettes out of their brand now $50k-plus luxury cars?  At Towson University, all day long I get to watch spoiled brats driving their brand new BMW's or whatnot that their parents bought them, and they're SMOKING out of them.  To make matters worse, once in a while you see some girl in a Mercedes SUV driving over a curb because she couldn't calculate the turn radius in her own car (with a cigarette in her hand of course), or some assmunch that couldn't even perpendicular park just ding up the other parked car next to him.

Reminds me of this stupid cuntbag last year at the Subie dealership.

Am I bitter?  To an extent, yes I am.  I love and appreciate cars so much that I would never smoke inside of one, and would park my car as far away from everyone as possible to avoid idiots who can't park.  I need that extra walking exercise anyway.

Happy Birthday Kim, you old fart.  Welcome to the Quarter-Life-Crisis club.  Yes, I'm aware I haven't hit that mark yet, but I did get my membership in advance already.  But good job Kim, for dropping that $80 bottle of Pinot Noir that we got you all over your car.  Try not to get pulled over on your way home.

She still thinks she's a Ninja Turtle.

Ravi gave me a wonderful idea yesterday that if some ass-pirate of a ricer whom double-parks (intentional or just plain horrendous parking job, which is usually the case) on campus..... especially if they don't have parking permits, I would put my PSI pen to good use.  Or in my case, a regular pen would work.  And let all air out of one of the tires with it.  Some asshole with a black Honda del-sol (del-slow) double-parked in my spot two days in a row now, I think its fair that if he wants to make me park two garages over half a mile away, his tires aren't going to have much air.

I know, I'm a dick too.

And I don't get the reason why when ricers spot another ricer or just an actual fast car in general, they feel the need to rev their engine or peel out in a show of force (or lack of).  Then they just drive like asshats and put other drivers on the road in danger.
To the moron driving the red Dodge Neon SRT-4 who did a burnout on the red light next to me earlier and missed second gear (unexpectedly causing complete destruction of his clutch and halting all traffic)..... uh oh, does your car not start now?  Guess what, you fucking deserved it.  Now take your stupidity to the next level and get drunk and punch a cop in the face.  Seriously now.

Silly ricers.

 .........................

EDIT

I had THE greatest outdoor run earlier this afternoon.  On the way home on my run, I got chased down by a dog for about a block.  Normally you would stop and stand still so the dog won't chase.... I, the genius, decided to go on a full-on sprint, with Cujo on hot pursuit snarling like it just saw the biggest piece of steak in its life.

I should scream at the owners, but thanks to the dog, I shaved about a whole minute off my 3 mile run time.  Bravo!

Its almost 9am on a sunday, and a bit too early for me to wake up.  There's somebody inside my brain doing contruction work, most notably pounding jackhammers since I have been drinking since noon of yesterday..... 15 hours of straight drinking.  Thankfully I was constantly force-fed food all that time, so I had some balance between excessive food and excessive alcohol.  Aside from a friend (name withheld) who's too pussy-whipped to deal with a cuntbag (pardonnes moi Francais) excuse of a girlfriend that complains at every bar we go to, refuses to listen to group consensus on which bars to hit, has no problem leaving people behind without waiting for them, the rest of the night went without any major trouble.  Look buddy, I'll be the first to say for everyone that she pisses us ALL off.  Besides, I don't trust women that never finishes their drinks before asking for more.

I don't know, but did it seem like everyone on St. Patty's day seem overly aggressive that night?  At Rodos at Fells' Point, I think that bar alone I witnessed four fights happen that night within the span of 40 minutes.  You know, I was going to offer Jaeger my employment services that night because I know it might be a fun night of kicking people out left and right, but...... nah, he wouldn't let me bounce drunk.  Or would he?

Good old St. Patty's day.

My friend almost got me to buy his Subaru WRX.  Ironically, I bought my Acura last year during St. Patty's.  No, I ordered the car in advance.  Its just that I was too eager to drive my car out that night and after getting plastered, I had someone ELSE drive my brand new car on my first night of owning the car home.  A year before fresh out of playing in Iraq, a friend took me down to the Georgetown D.C. St. Patty's festival, where I got wasted BEFORE noon.  THAT was a good fun time.

....................

EDIT

Pictures from weekend:

Dennis, 18 and plastered

Me and Dennis

Real classy, CJ

Guiness!!

I just bombed my math exam. According to my genetic disposition, I'm supposed to be good at things like science at math. I believe I have just successfully yet unfortunately upset not only the natural order of my Asian heritage, whatever that means; but my GPA as well. I have one more paper which I'm supposed to be writing right now, but I guess I'm more interested in wasting time on xanga instead and looking forward to getting plastered during happy hour tonight.

Hah, seriously now, it does sound funny. "Hey, I'm Asian and I suck at math and science. But I can write papers like nothing and quote Shakespeare (or pretend to)."  Who's going to believe me?

Oh, my brother Dennis is turning 18 today, homeboy is growing up!  A birthday on the Ides of March (death of Julius Caesar), supposedly a day that is similar to Friday the 13th.  How ironic, you pain in the fucking ass of a brother.  I joke, I joke.

........

We had this discussion in speech class today talking about immigration and stuff. I brought in an article from usmc.mil as an example of El Presidente's executive order where all service members not of American citizenship are automatically granted citizenship due to serving during a time of war.  One of my classmates had an elaborate defense saying that it is not fair for the immigrants who are not willing to fight a war have to wait for more than 3 to 5 years while immigrants who enlist in the US military can instantly register for citizenship is like "cheating".  Except depending on your viewpoint (I'll use mine for example), I think a non-citizen who is willing to put their life on the life for America, they deserve not only instant citizenship, but also a case of beer and a date with a supermodel too.  Does that mean the civilian non-citizens have to wait?  Yes they do, because thats just the way it is, and none of them are complaining.  They're here in this country for a reason, and there's also a reason why they're willing to take the shitty jobs that most of our spoiled asses are not willing to take.
She did bring up some other points, such as Bush using the executive order to fuel more troops in the ranks of the military, or just a really easy cheese-dick way to gain citizenship for other sinister purposes, such as an immigrant in the military learning how to fight so they could use it in the future for terrorism.  Honestly that’s a bit too far-fetched for me, and again let me emphasize that immigrants joined the military and [hopefully] know what they're getting themselves into, which is fighting a war for a country that is not even theirs; yet by doing so they wish to be allowed into the United States, which means giving up their own nationality to fight for America.  That means again, risking their lives out in combat, if you have any idea the severity of that kind of situation. See the pattern now, lady?

Oh but really who cares.  This war doesn't really affect that many people in the United States directly, its just something that they see on TV everyday.  She admitted that to her, the war isn't really real to her because she doesn't know anybody, including herself that is affected by it.  Sorry miss, but the war is very real to me. She should thank those immigrants in the service that are "cheating" the immigration laws whom allowed her to be ignorant about the war.  Ah, but who am I kidding anyway?

Right, because nobody gives a shit.