January 19, 2007

  • EDIT


    I posted my first videoblog, and I realized I may have sunk to an all-time low.  Its protected by the way, only you "Special" types can see my beautifully lingering mug.


    .......................................................


    My sleep patterns are all reversed, I just woke up after an 8 hour nap since noon.  I don't think this is healthy.  But who cares, in another hour or so, I'll have my "breakfast of champions" by feasting on wings and several pitchers of beer at Hooters.  I been eating like a tweaked-out health nut all week, time to indulge myself in some trans fats and useless carbs that we all love.


    ............


    Last night when I was bouncing (I still bounce once or twice a week), some guy tried to take a leak on a potted plant next to the tables.  Bubba (not his real name) was obviously drunk, and I asked him to go to the bathroom if he's got to go.  So the guy insists however that the bathroom is full and there's people outside of the door waiting to go, and when i look over there, all I saw were two women standing outside the womens' room waiting to go.  I told him that the men's room was open, and he kept mumbling about how every time he walks into the bathroom, he gets screamed at.  I was puzzled at first, because the only time I ever got screamed at when I myself went to the restroom in public was when I was too drunk and wandered into the womens' room by mistake....... ahhhhh... I see.  I get it.


    So I do the guy a favor and escort him to the mens' room.  A few minutes later as I was walking about, I hear screams from the back where the restrooms are, and the first thing that crossed my mind was Bubba probably did something incredibly dumb and my knuckles are starting to itch.  You know, those drunks that are so incoherent and probably have no clue where they are they probably wandered BACK into the womens' room and caused a scene.  However when I got back there it was something I didn't expect at all.


    To make the long story short, it turns out two drunk chicks wandered into the men's room, where one girl was ready to puke.  However when she opened the unlocked stall, Bubba was busy rubbing one off (at least thats what the girls said) and the two girls walked in on him.  The girls screamed and managed to throw punches at him, which caused him to throw up.  The sight of him throwing up made one of the girls puke too, some of it getting on the other girl's leg.  So I walk in with three people in the men's room, one guy with his pants down and two girls covered in puke, and me and TJ, another bouncer, are standing there debating on who should stay and who should go home.


    Nah, I kicked all three of them out.  Too much of a mess in the mens room pissed me off, since I had to clean it anyway.


    Drunk people are amazing.  And I hope every time I have blacked out from drinking that I didn't REALLY do all the stupid shit that witnesses say I do.  From a bystanders' point of view, I am downright stupid.

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