September 11, 2008

  • Gone but never forgotten….

    This is a repost from what I wrote last year on 9/11.


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    Everyone remembers exactly when and where they were when the two great towers fell that fateful morning, kind of like all the animals in the forest knew exactly when and where Bambi’s mother got shot by the hunter. I was on Parris Island, SC in boot camp for the Marines back in the day. It was another morning during “team week”, which was kind of a break for all recruits in the middle of boot camp. We were kind of spread out and assigned to different posts on the Island– working laundry, range, chow hall, etc. I had the luck of working at the Medical center, one of the cakest jobs where I got to hang around Navy guys who didn’t treat me like a kid and actually called me “Private” instead of “recruit” (it was a big deal to us back then). There was a female Gunnery Sergeant that was the Marine liason there, whom was serving that billet because in her words “being a DI sucks”. Yes, she even treated us like real people instead of lower-than-dirt and brought us coffee and donuts every morning, and never really yelled at us for any reason at all. The best part was, all the brand spanking new recruits that showed up, I got to boss them around like it was cool. At that point the DI’s started to let our hairs grow out a bit (instead of buzzing the entire head), and the 1st Phase recruits thought I was a real marine. Basically, when encountering a real Marine while you’re still a recruit, you have to address him/her as “sir / ma’am” like you render honors to an officer. I was having fun with that shit.

    One morning while walking to Medical, I say good morning to all the Docs and started making my rounds to collect and distribute clipboards to hang outside of each individual waiting room. I hear everyone gasping and there was a crowd mingled in front of the main waiting room’s TV set. All the docs, nurses, medical techs, and a few recruits that showed up early for physicals were sitting nearby like statues, but their eyes were peering towards the direction of the TV set. I asked them what the hell was going on.

    “Some major accident I think, hit one of the World Trade Center buildings,” said one of the doctors. They kind of cleared a bit of space so I could see the TV set. And the video of the first plane kept playing over and over and over. We had to get back to work, but every single television set was tuned into CNN and throughout the hour, everyone was distracted. Then we got word that a second plane hit the second tower. This is no way a flippin’ coincidence, and to confirm our fears, a third plane flew into the Pentagon in Washington DC.

    “Feng,” the female Gunny looked at me rather disheaveled after I returned to the reception desk. “We’re going to war, buddy.”

    A recruit started freaking out because he was from New York City and his uncle worked in the Towers, he was begging us to use the phone to call home (phone calls from recruits were only granted by our DI’s on very special occaisions), and the Gunny didn’t even hesitate and handed him the phone. He was a big guy, and a tough looking dude too– I had the feeling he was one of those types that never showed fear in his life and probably thought boot camp so far was a big joke. I couldn’t remember who he was talking to, but this big recruit had tears coming down his face, and I was fearing for the worst.  His uncle never made it out in time.


    He hung up the phone, and sat down still sobbing and speechless. A minute or two later he looks up at us and said, “I’m going to kill those motherfuckers that did this.”

    Me too, I thought to myself. Me too, because at this point, we really don’t have much of a choice now. Sooner or later, we’re going to get sent out to whatever foreign turf belonging to the people that flew that plane, and we would actually have to apply what we have learned so far and put some rounds downrange. It wasn’t just airplanes that hit the towers and the Penthouse– reality hit too, we weren’t safe in our little bubbles anymore.  America isn’t safe.

    We were pissed.

    Before 9/11, most of us signed up for the Marines thinking we would have an easy enlistment, maybe travel on an aircraft carrier, tour the world and make port calls in exotic countries by getting severely drunk and have lots of unprotected sex with the fine local women. Worst case scenario maybe, we may have to spend a few months in Bosnia or Kosovo for peacekeeping operations. And once our cakewalk enlistment was over, it was time to go back to college with the GI bill we just received– most of us signed up for college money anyway. We also signed up for the supplementary motive that we could become “Hardcore” and learn how to put some serious hurt in people. Nobody honestly thought we’d be sitting in the current shitstorm that you see on the news every evening for the past 5 or 6 years that nobody really gives a fuck about anymore. I have made some of the best friends I could possibly have during the war, and lost many too. I was one of the last of the pre-9/11 recruits, where we didn’t sign up simply because of revenge. I had good intentions back then to make something out of my life, but who knew things would turn out this way.

    We signed up to be “Hardcore” jarheads, yet we were still so innocent back then. And when that first tower got hit, we would never be young again– it was our time to shine.

    Do YOU remember where you were during 9/11?


    911tower

August 6, 2008

  • Long time…

    So I haven’t been keeping up with Xanga much anymore.  I just went to California, found a nice farmer’s tan for 2 weeks, and came back.


    Oh, and BOATS SUCK.


    STP60484


    I got welts all over from shooting simrounds at people all weekend long.  The good news is, my team (OPFOR) eliminated the entire company.  Next up, the battalion!

June 9, 2008

  • Dear Marine Corps,

    Dear Marine Corps,


    You’ve been good to me most of the time, and I have been grateful for that.  I have had interesting experiences when I was under your tutelage– sometimes good, sometimes bad, but it was all a learning experience.  I appreciate all that you have done to me, but sometimes…. just sometimes you just piss me the hell off.


    I’ve dealt with years of abuse, but I sucked it up like a man.  I’ve put up with extremely piss-poor leaders and commands, and I’ve gotten in trouble for dealing with them in my own way.  I admit, I always had a problem with authority, but I try to be respectful sometimes until you really piss me off.  And it takes a LOT to piss me off, but somehow you pulled it off on several occasions.


    But the one thing that I just can’t stand about you is the lack of communication.  We don’t communicate and talk like we used to….. if we even did in the first place.  I’m the type of NCO that tries to keeps his troops informed at all costs, but when you don’t inform me in the first place of what the F- is going on until I find something out the very last minute….. it makes me look bad.  The fact that I’m kept out of the loop half the time makes me look like a jackass in front of my troops, when they look up to me for advice and guidance.  When I let them down, they can’t see me as a reliable leader and go-to guy anymore.  I am not a fan of getting blindsided like this.


    I have served you for six and a half years now; my EAS was in January, which means I was supposed to be long gone about 6 months ago.  But somehow I told myself that it wasn’t that bad, because I still had 2 years left of IRR time and I was going to continue to drill with you for two more years until my entire 8-year contract was up.  Somehow I was convinced that it was worth sticking around for just to mentor this great group of junior Marines that I had, and serving with my Gunnery Sergeant that was more like a father than just a simple leader.


    But that doesn’t mean that I’m stupid and I’m sticking around for good.  As a backup plan, I already have my check-out sheet and it’s almost complete.  All I need is a signature or two (that I’m more than capable of forging) and turning it in if I decide to relinquish my reservist status and drop into the IRR.  Basically, I have my letter of resignation sitting in my pocket, ready to turn in at any given moment in case shit goes downhill.


    You see– after all the bullshit that I had to put up with: the petty politics, the hidden personal agendas, and trivial and unnecessary rules and regulations, I am starting to regret my decision to stick around for the two extra years that I don’t need.  I don’t care what you think, but I deserve better, my junior ranks deserve better.  You know it too, because thats the truth, whether you like it or not.  I’m losing faith in you, bro.


    So keep pissing me off, Marine Corps.  Keep pressing your luck, because I would hate to abandon my Marines.  But you leave me no choice these days.  Go ahead, give me a reason to quit.

May 26, 2008

  • Memorial Day…


    If you can’t see it, its at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsUuLl1rxj0


     


    This is a montage of the majority of the U.S. soldiers killed during Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom. This is a tribute to their sacrifice. I encourage you to take the time and sit through the entire 10 minutes of the film.


    Kudos to you if you threw up after the end of this clip, like I did.  But that’s only because I actually recognized a few people in there that I once knew a lifetime ago and had the honor of serving with.

May 21, 2008

  • Barfights? Never gets old.

    Seriously, worst barfight I’ve gotten into during my entire career, not to mention my whole life.  I always say that I’m probably too old to be doing any kind of juvenile shit like barfights– but when you watch as your 45 year-old Gunny throw down the best of which I’ve never seen before…. well, you know you still have much to learn from the old wise Gunny.


    Well, they started it, we simply finished the fight and got them all arrested.


    Oh yeah…. have you ever seen anyone get tasered in real life?  I mean *in person*, not some Youtube shit.  A dude flopping on the ground either curled up in the fetal position screaming like a bitch, or flopping around doing the Funky Chicken while pissing their own pants.  HI-LA-RI-OUS, I tell you.


    I’m just saying, as long are you’re not on the recieving end of the taser, behind bars, and having to explain yourself to your CO the next morning, I’d say you just survived another fun weekend and have another awesome story to tell.


    Except for that bruise on the back of my head…. that’s just painful.

April 29, 2008

  • Happy Birthday to Me…

    So I’m one year older than I was last year.  Hmm…. makes sense, doesn’t it?


    The good news is, I get to save money on my car insurance this year.  Suh-WEEEEET!!


     


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April 16, 2008

  • Rest in pieces, Cho Seung Hui

    Today marks 1 year after the nation’s deadliest school shooting– ah yes, school shootings, the recent fad and trend of pop-culture America.  I wonder who’s next?


    Teddy Bears, lab goggles, letters remember Virginia Tech victims


    TIP:  if you want to start a shooting at the University of Baltimore….. well if you show up with a dinky handgun trying to start a campus shooting at UB, the rest of your class will have no problem ventilating your face with a few well placed shots before you can get your gun out.  I would suggest something larger than a handgun, such as an assault rifle or something and wear military-grade body armor– yes you, the SHOOTER, not the student.  Well, thats because everyone on campus is either an off-duty cop or is simply just armed and ready to take down an idiot like yourself.

March 5, 2008

  • Gone daddy, Gone

    Back in the day, Hollywood was beyond supportive for our troops. Bob Hope would call up his buddies to perform before the troops at their star-studded USO functions. Celebrities, athletes and politicians would all show up to support the men and women who were risking their lives to do their thing, for whatever cause… protect freedom, yadda yadda and all that good stuff. That was then…this is now.


    Also, long gone daddy gone are the few and proud to serve in the military from the ranks of celebrity such as James Stewart, Clark Gable, Ted Williams….. heck even Gene Hackman. Even those who weren’t part of the armed forces pitched-in to the war effort contributing inspirational films from folks like Ronald Reagan and John Wayne. These were REAL men.


    Alas, these days we’re stuck with limp-wristed, Marxist-Leninists such as George Clooney, Sean Penn, Bruce Springsteen, Michael Moore, Tim Robbins, Martin Sheen, Danny Glover and Matt Damon. These are NOT real men, merely creampuff crybabies who either received too much or too little attention as snot-nosed rugrats in their youth. In short, they never grew up. Even the women today are equally squawking, petty, anti-American, whiny and annoying windbags like Whoopi Goldberg, Barbra Streisand, Rosie O’Donnell, Janeane Garafalo and Susan Sarandon — all fugly and too old to bone. I wouldn’t touch them with a thirty-meter cattle prod. Man, what I would do for a Rita Hayworth, Marilyn Monroe, Betty Grable, Jane Russell, or the modern day Leeann Tweeden (oh the dirty things I would love to do to her). The latter would sing, dance and blow kisses to the troops…forget about the former. I’d rather stick my head up a rhino’s ass.


    Back then Americans were REAL people. These days they’ve become quite pussified, plastic, lazy and Communist, compliments of the Woodstock generation. Life will be utopian perfection when Hillary wins… so they think. Liberals have a tendency to curl up in a shivering fetal position at the sight of church mice, their own shadows or the eeee-vil George Dubya Bush.


    Nostradamus predicted that the next phase in American evolution will involve a systematic loss of spine. You can count on it.


    Ok I totally made that up, but it’s not too far from the truth.

February 27, 2008

  • Slip of the tongue

    You know when you’re around your friends, you guys/girls can just joke around and say whatever you want (usually something profane) and they know you’re either just kidding?  So its totally fine to say it around your buddies but when saying the exact same thing to a total stranger would be kind of like…. wierd.


    I was talking to this cute girl from my class on the way back to the parking lot and she asked me what I was going to do after I leave the campus.  I don’t know her that well, but somehow my mind decided to tell myself that she was one of my close friends– this meaning that I would probably say something that is inappropriate.


    “So,” she says.  “Whatcha doing later?”  Her tone suggests an invitation of sorts, not hard to figure that one out.


    And I go, “yeah the usual shit… go home and masturbate for a few hours and then kick my girlfriend in the teeth afterwards.”


    Uhhhhhh…….


    Now if we were close friends, she would just go “ha ha ha, you’re stupid Chris, no really what are you doing later..?”  The response I got was pretty much the look of “what-the-fuck”.  Instead of correcting myself, I just started laughing hysterically like a loony bin inmate, followed by awkward silence.


    “Uh yeah so I guess I’ll see you on friday!”  I had to escape the crime scene ASAP and left in the other direction in a hurry.  Good job Chris, good one.  Social ineptitude 1 — Chris 0.

February 18, 2008

  • Sounds like someone has the case of the mondays!

    Peter:  “Let me ask you something.  When you come in on monday and you’re not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you ‘looks like someone has the case of the mondays’?”


    Lawrence:  “No.  No man.  Shit no.  I believe you’d get your ass kicked saying something like that man”


     


    Guess which movie that line is from and you get…. well, you can pat yourself on the back.  If you can’t figure out what movie thats from (or use Google), you seriously deserve to get the crap stomped out of you by your disgruntled coworker that wants his red stapler back.