http://www.flickr.com/photos/yakuzamonkey

I decided to make a page for just random photos that I take.  Check it out if you're extremely bored or if you need an excuse to procrastinate.

Apparently this new Facebook plague that emerged over the past month known as "25 Things About Me" has spread relentlessly like the T-virus in Raccoon City (if you don't get that reference then go kill yourself). I don't get why everyone is so willing to participate in this narcissistic venture of publicly revealing some of their deepest darkest secrets that other people probably did not want to know in the first place. Others include useless information about them that we probably don't even care, nor bother reading.

So I came up with a new idea. I am going to list 25 of the things that I wish I never knew about my friends, ranging from utterly retarded to downright disturbing. For the safety of these people (and myself), I shall keep the names anonymous, only listing their gender. Here are the top 25 most disturbing things I have found out within the past month. These are all real, although I wish some of them were not.

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1. [female] I have eczema.

2. [female] I've been on 2 deployments. Afghanistan was by far the more dangerous (many, many rocket attacks) compared to Iraq... but I wish a rocket would've landed on my head when I was out in Iraq.

3. [female] I used to want to be a body builder... until one of my friends, whom saw me without a shirt on and I was flexing for her, noted that my back looked like a man's back and she said it was gross... Yeah, I felt real good about myself then. I immediately stopped working out.

4. [male] once upon a time, [XXX] tried to hook me up with one of her friends. unbeknownst to me, her friend had a boyfriend. said boyfriend tried to kill me in my sleep. unbeknownst to him, i'm a goddamn ninja.

5. [male] I have a 6 computer network self-study lab in my apartment.

6. [male] I once dated a girl with genital herpes.

7. [male] i was kissed by a midget transvestite in thailand. :(

8. [male] I need to get circumcised sometime this year… my new religion says that I have to do it.

9. [male] Why does my back hurt, you ask? Yea I’m an old man, thanks. The biggest reason is… I crash landed from a night parachute jump in the Army. Broke a couple of bones and slipped a bunch of random stuff out of place.

10. [male] I happily wear the label “bleeding heart liberal.”

11. [male] I sometimes have dreams about different ways to hurt, maim, or kill my ex wife.

12. [female] I see freaky things sometimes in my mind. They're very graphic depictions of terrifying things that I have never before seen in my life. Sometimes I just close my eyes and these images just burst into my head very sharply for like 1/10th of a second. I've never seen the same image twice.

13. [male] I have a pretty nasty case of PTSD from my 3 tours in Iraq. I've almost killed people from bouts of anger, depression, or just because I was piss drunk. Don't worry, I'm not going to do it....yet... lol.

14. [female] My ex-roomate in college was manic depressive. I once came home to find her lying in the bathtub naked, crying, and smearing dog food all over herself. And that wasn't even the wierdest thing she has done before.

15. [female] i have put someone into a mental institution before.

16. [female] i am 4'11" & 1/2 tall & less than 110 lbs., but i'm pretty sure i can out eat most normal sized guys in one sitting.

17. [female] shhh. (i clog toilets)

18. [female] I once had an ovarian cyst taken out and was told by the Doctor that it contained (amongst other stuff): red hair, blond hair, and teeth. Weird. Maybe that’s where my 4th wisdom toof went…

19. [female] I used to go to the club so often with my friends that I got too lazy to constantly shave my legs, especially in the summer. So I just shaved up to the Capri pant leg. Ha. Its genius and you know it.

20. [male] I flirt with everyone, guys and girls.

21. [male] I like romantic comedies: My Sassy Girl is one of my favorite movies

22. [male] I have three mobile phones and 5 sim cards. But at any given time, I'm only using 3 of them.

23. [male] I have eaten 21 quarter-pound burgers in one sitting on a dare

24. [female] I have cheated on all of my exes before.

25. [female] My cousin committed suicide by blowing his head off with a shotgun. No joke.

Donate toys, or be a bitch!

As you all may or may not know, I was tasked to be in charge of Toys for Tots for Annapolis and Prince Georges county districts in Maryland this year for planning and coordination of special events, working alongside Ms. Dawn Stem (the civilian coordinator). It was a long and arduous process, and with the limited staff support I had, I basically worked my ass off to ensure that these events didn't suck. Unfortunately it sucked like hell for me, doing this job full-time while also going to school full-time.... and I was not getting paid any extra for volunteering for Toys for Tots.

However, I did learn a few things over this past month-- it has been a crazy learning experience, and if any of you who never had experience in this or has been there with me, I hope you can walk away with these lessons learned.

1. Dress Blues are NOT waterproof. And if you're wearing Under Armour thermals, it only works when its dry-- but once it gets wet, you're done.

2. This is a three-part lesson.
2.a. Planning and coordination really sucks when you have less than 10 reserve Marines to handle and they are busy with their regular lives on the weekdays in the daytime. Ironically, all of the events I could get were daytime weekday events.

2.b. In direct correlation with (2.a.), getting my own Marines to sign up for events to volunteer is like twisting their arms, putting them in figure-four headlocks with a gun pointed at their genitals. You'll have an easier time teaching your puppy not to shit on the carpet.

2.c. With that said, when people call/email in asking for Marines to go to their events, they tend to do it last-minute. Like this lady will call me wednesday morning asking me if I could send some of my Marines over this afternoon for her event..... You must be out of your crack-smoking mind, lady! I can't even get my Marines to sign up for events a WEEK from now, what makes you think I can get them here this afternoon?? Go away.

3. Begging and groveling really works, whether over the phone or over the emails to try and convince your friends outside of the unit to help you out, or to get your way with these people who wants you to organize events for them (and you don't really feel like playing by their rules). Try it out if you need something done with whatever it takes, even if you must put your dignity on the line. You get used to it!

4. Another three-parter:
4.a . Prince Georges County in MD is a ROUGH neighborhood. It is virtually an extension of West Baltimore and South-east Washington DC, if you ask me. There's a reason why we have our warehouse and distribution center right at the PG County Police Department headquarters.

4.b. There are alot more people with prior arrest records and outstanding warrants out for their arrest than you can imagine out in PG County. Especially when they find out that their toys are ready to be picked up at the PG County Police Department.

4.c. Along with (4.b.), some residents of PG County actually believe that Toys for Tots is an elaborate sting operation, where you pick up the toys and then the cops bust you once you leave the area with the free goodies. Now that I think about it, its not a bad idea at all!

5. Two Parts:
5a. Mothers below the poverty line tend to have more than 5 kids. This is a pain when trying to bundle up toys for some mom who's trying to get all 8 of her kids toys. EIGHT kids... you don't need toys, you need lessons in birth control.

5b. 18 year olds kids?? Are you serious?? No check that, I had a 20 year old in line trying to get toys. Last I checked, this program was called Toys for TOTS, not Toys for TEENS. You shouldn't be getting toys, you should be out getting freaking job applications.

6. People will bitch and moan about everything, even if its free. Mothers who complain about the FREE toys that we gave them should not be allowed to have any toys. Seriously now.... give them and inch and they ask for a mile.

7. People getting drunk before 2pm and showing up to pick up toys? Pretty common sight if you ask me. Must be another lazy tuesday!

8. Most of the events are Christmas Parties. Marines, stop bitching if you have to attend "another Christmas party".... you're getting free food and beer all day, so quit whining.

9. Bikes. Freaking bikes. Bikes were the bane of my existence during my time with Toys for Tots. Whoever came up with that idea *coughDawncough* should be shot.

10. If you're going to be part of the planning/coordination process, go on ADOS orders. At least you get paid full-time for your misery.

11. It is perfectly acceptable to punch a Lance Coolie in the face who tries to tell you how to do your job. As a matter of fact, if a Gunny, Master Guns, or some Major tries to do the same, they are all fair game too.

12. I've mastered sleep deprivation down to an art form, trying to juggle school full-time and doing this charitable act full-time at the expense of an average of 3-4 hours of sleep a day. The trick is to combine coffee (or Redbull if you're ballsy enough) with Hydroxycut or Ripped Fuel at the same time, and pray your heart doesn't explode from all the excitement.

13. One word: FLOAM. Trust me.



FINALLY,
Don't trust your boss when he is "running for mayor". He will screw you over, like he did with the other guys.... but then again, you should have seen it coming. Its just politics, baby.



Other than that, I would like to thank all of you who helped me out during this dreaded season. Remember, we did it for the kids!

Manliness is really the willingness to sacrifice self for the benefit of others, particularly a man's children, wife, family, neighbors and country.

Most young men are willing to die for the respect, admiration and love of a worthy and chaste woman. The problem is that interaction with most women today leads them quickly to the conclusion that few women are worth dying for.

Some will question the need for chastity as a requirement. However, from the male perspective, sex is the greatest compliment that a woman can pay to a man. Wouldn't you agree that a woman who sleeps around devalues the compliment?

This is a repost from what I wrote last year on 9/11.

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Everyone remembers exactly when and where they were when the two great towers fell that fateful morning, kind of like all the animals in the forest knew exactly when and where Bambi's mother got shot by the hunter. I was on Parris Island, SC in boot camp for the Marines back in the day. It was another morning during "team week", which was kind of a break for all recruits in the middle of boot camp. We were kind of spread out and assigned to different posts on the Island-- working laundry, range, chow hall, etc. I had the luck of working at the Medical center, one of the cakest jobs where I got to hang around Navy guys who didn't treat me like a kid and actually called me "Private" instead of "recruit" (it was a big deal to us back then). There was a female Gunnery Sergeant that was the Marine liason there, whom was serving that billet because in her words "being a DI sucks". Yes, she even treated us like real people instead of lower-than-dirt and brought us coffee and donuts every morning, and never really yelled at us for any reason at all. The best part was, all the brand spanking new recruits that showed up, I got to boss them around like it was cool. At that point the DI's started to let our hairs grow out a bit (instead of buzzing the entire head), and the 1st Phase recruits thought I was a real marine. Basically, when encountering a real Marine while you're still a recruit, you have to address him/her as "sir / ma'am" like you render honors to an officer. I was having fun with that shit.

One morning while walking to Medical, I say good morning to all the Docs and started making my rounds to collect and distribute clipboards to hang outside of each individual waiting room. I hear everyone gasping and there was a crowd mingled in front of the main waiting room's TV set. All the docs, nurses, medical techs, and a few recruits that showed up early for physicals were sitting nearby like statues, but their eyes were peering towards the direction of the TV set. I asked them what the hell was going on.

"Some major accident I think, hit one of the World Trade Center buildings," said one of the doctors. They kind of cleared a bit of space so I could see the TV set. And the video of the first plane kept playing over and over and over. We had to get back to work, but every single television set was tuned into CNN and throughout the hour, everyone was distracted. Then we got word that a second plane hit the second tower. This is no way a flippin' coincidence, and to confirm our fears, a third plane flew into the Pentagon in Washington DC.

"Feng," the female Gunny looked at me rather disheaveled after I returned to the reception desk. "We're going to war, buddy."

A recruit started freaking out because he was from New York City and his uncle worked in the Towers, he was begging us to use the phone to call home (phone calls from recruits were only granted by our DI's on very special occaisions), and the Gunny didn't even hesitate and handed him the phone. He was a big guy, and a tough looking dude too-- I had the feeling he was one of those types that never showed fear in his life and probably thought boot camp so far was a big joke. I couldn't remember who he was talking to, but this big recruit had tears coming down his face, and I was fearing for the worst.  His uncle never made it out in time.

He hung up the phone, and sat down still sobbing and speechless. A minute or two later he looks up at us and said, "I'm going to kill those motherfuckers that did this."

Me too, I thought to myself. Me too, because at this point, we really don't have much of a choice now. Sooner or later, we're going to get sent out to whatever foreign turf belonging to the people that flew that plane, and we would actually have to apply what we have learned so far and put some rounds downrange. It wasn't just airplanes that hit the towers and the Penthouse-- reality hit too, we weren't safe in our little bubbles anymore.  America isn't safe.

We were pissed.

Before 9/11, most of us signed up for the Marines thinking we would have an easy enlistment, maybe travel on an aircraft carrier, tour the world and make port calls in exotic countries by getting severely drunk and have lots of unprotected sex with the fine local women. Worst case scenario maybe, we may have to spend a few months in Bosnia or Kosovo for peacekeeping operations. And once our cakewalk enlistment was over, it was time to go back to college with the GI bill we just received-- most of us signed up for college money anyway. We also signed up for the supplementary motive that we could become "Hardcore" and learn how to put some serious hurt in people. Nobody honestly thought we'd be sitting in the current shitstorm that you see on the news every evening for the past 5 or 6 years that nobody really gives a fuck about anymore. I have made some of the best friends I could possibly have during the war, and lost many too. I was one of the last of the pre-9/11 recruits, where we didn't sign up simply because of revenge. I had good intentions back then to make something out of my life, but who knew things would turn out this way.

We signed up to be "Hardcore" jarheads, yet we were still so innocent back then. And when that first tower got hit, we would never be young again-- it was our time to shine.

Do YOU remember where you were during 9/11?