March 8, 2007

• I just finished giving a 10 minute speech in class earlier.  I forgot how much I hated speeches-- not the actual presentation part, but the preparation is a pain in my assholes.  Then I have to worry about if I'm going to get stage fright or not.  Ok, the class isn't so big, but I always remind myself of the times where I had to give presentations in front of hundreds of IT geeks and huge crowds frighten me.  I used to calm my nerves before major presentations like that with a quick swig of vodka in a flask, but one time.... oh yeah one time.

  
  

  .....

  
  

  Flashback, summer of 2005: San Francisco, CA....

  
  

  I went on a business trip while working for Parsons out west for a major conference.  It was my first time going to assist an exec in a presentation to over 200+ people, where me and my friend Will volunteered to be technical advisors for the exec's presentation.  The conference was stretched out over 4 days, with each major company sending representatives to speak and give its findings.  However on our first night, the exec, an easygoing southerner we called "Billy Bob" invited the six of us that traveled with him down to the hotel restaurant for a dinner on his (the company's) tab.  Sure, I never turn down a free meal no matter how good or bad.  The food was delicious, I overate and probably drank more wine than I was supposed to.  We then made our way to the hotel bar (Will spotted a pair of women entering the bar area during dinner) to continue our night, it was still only a little after dinnertime anyway.  The jetlag hasn't really kicked in yet, being only three hours time difference from the east coast; so I was still pretty energetic.  After that, this is where I kind of get in trouble.

  
  

  Short version:  I had to stay in bed that morning b/c I was puking my brains out, missing out on our presentation which I was supposed to be working on.

  
  

  Ok, Long version:

  
  

  Will and I got the drop on the two women, attempting to place ourselves strategically to block the advances of some middle-aged sleazeball with a bad Hawaiian shirt and greasy hair.  A few hours of drinking, we found out that they were part of the convention too, not before we coaxed the two nice young ladies to follow back to Will's suite where.... I'll leave your conclusions up to you.  However, I was so hammered to the point that there were blacked-out moments, where I only remember very little things.  Will had a bottle of Chivas Regal in the room he bought at the airport, and poured glasses for us.  At that point I don't remember what happened next, until I woke up the next morning.

  
  

  I wake up with my jeans gone, only with my boxers, shirt, and my shoes still on.  There was a note by where I was lying on the floor of Will's room, written by Billy Bob, the exec saying that I should get some rest.  However, I'm searching the entire room for my pants (where my roomkey was in), and I couldn't find it.  I had to borrow Will's pants to get my roomkey at the lobby (he's like 2 waist sizes smaller and I felt kind of awkward) and get my suit on.  All the while I'm still trying to figure out of they might have played a prank on me last night since we were all hammered (or was it corporate sabotage?).  Thinking I could still make it to the seminar, I took a quick swig of water from the bottle, until I realized the mistake I made....

  
  

  I filled up a water bottle full of vodka before the flight so I didn't have to pay for all the little bottles of alcohol on the plane (I was on a tight budget back then), and I realized that the bottle that I just took a swig out of wasn't water after all.  Immediately I felt like being run over repeatedly by a horde of cattle and well, you could imagine the rest.  That's one business trip I'll never forget.

  
  

  Oh, I did find my pants later on, it was in Will's bathroom the entire time.  How it got there is still beyond me, Will claimed he didn't know.  Wierd.

  • 4:56 pm
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