August 23, 2007

• yuck

  Man, O's sure suck like rotten buttholes.  Just like the warm beer they give us at Camden Yards.  3-30 against the Rangers?  Oh but I still love them.  Go O's and warm beer in plastic memorabilia beer cups!

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

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  There was one time where I was coerced into drinking a potent brew from Dogfish Head that had 23% alcohol in it.  Scratch that, SEVERAL bottles of it within a span of 20 minutes before I blacked out.  I almost got arrested that same night too, fortunately I run faster when I'm drunk, or so I'm told.

  
  

  I initially bought one for my buddy J.R. yesterday, but somehow he pussed out and my friend Tracy decided to chug the bottle to try to prove a point (that J.R. was a puss, or she's been loading up on testosterone so she could be as hairy as J.R., as shown above).  I told her the shit's no joke, but she insisted on gulping the entire bottle down at once.

  
  

  Three bottles later, it de-escalated to the point where feeding Tracy roofies would actually wake her up.  Which now I finally discovered something that works MUCH better than plain old roofies.  Giggedy giggedy?

  
  

  Alllll riiiight.

  
  

  .....

  
  

  I take it back, its never a good idea to put the most intoxicated individual that is prone to throwing up in the backseat of a two-door coupe.  Fortunately for all of us, quickly throwing people out of vehicles no matter the situation is one of the things that I've actually gotten a medal for; along with watching someone throw up on the side of the road while I point and laugh.  As we all know, I do enjoy the entertainment value of watching others wallow in their alcohol-induced misery.

  • 12:24 pm
  • 7 Comments