July 11, 2007

• Scion tC's

  I don't know about you guys, but every time some idiot does something stupid on the road that almost costs me my life, its usually done by some kid that thinks he's driving a racecar and wishes to challenge me by running me off the road.  If not by a crazy chick in her SUV on her cellphone, then its usually by some pimply-faced teen in a ricer-- or even better, a Scion tC who thinks their 4-cylinder engine could outrun any other car on the road.  I have some major gripes with those Scion owning pricks, and here are some common shit that I hear kids throw in my direction:

  
  

  1. "Its a sportscar!"

  
  

  A Ferrari, Porche, Honda S2000, Subaru WRX, etc., those are sports cars.  A Scion is an econo-box designed for pre-pubescent teens who wish to be hipsters, just in case their iPods don't make them look cool enough.  160-horsepower cars are NOT sports cars.

  
  

  According to my friend Alex, a Toyota mechanic-- a Scion tC has a weak chassis that was not designed for racing.  You don't say!

  
  

  2. "If I put a supercharger in my Scion, it'll be just as fast your Acura!"

  
  

  Keyword is "if".  Now, I drive an Acura RSX Type-S-- Its a pretty quick car, but by no means can my car outrun big-leaguers like those other sportscars mentioned above.  But if said asshole wants to compare a tuned tC against a stock RSX-- come on now, thats comparing apples and oranges.  Thats like saying, "if I put a turbocharger in my Acura, I can outrun a stock Nissan 350Z", which may be true.

  
  

  Again for comparison-- a Scion tC was never designed for racing.  An RSX or its twin cousin, the new Civic Si however, are designed as FWD front-engine budget speed-platforms with reinforced front shock tower bars and heavily tuned factory suspension to handle incredible amounts of horsepower and precision cornering.

  
  

  3. "Its way cheaper than the RSX, and with the remaining money, I could spend it on mods and make my car faster!"

  
  

  Ricer logic wins again, just like winning the special olympics-- you're still retarded.  Again, comparing Apples to Oranges again.  Again, its like saying spending less money to buy an RSX instead of the Nissan 350Z, and using the remainding money that I saved on mods to outrun the Z.  Except in my case, if I could outrun the Z by then, your Scion will never have a chance in hell to catch up.

  
  

  4. "Its more stylish than your car!"

  
  

  I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  But from my viewpoint, I consider the '05-06 RSX Type-S to resemble a sleek, aerodynamic arrow; while the Scion tC just looks like an oafy lima bean.

  
  

  Plus, you can't beat leather seats.  No matter what you say Scion owners, you guys can't out-style a car that has leather seats.  Sorry, you just can't.

  
  

  .................

  
  

  Now mind you, I never said that the tC was a BAD car by any means.  I said its not a fast car, but its still a decent car for a fully loaded car for under $20k.  Besides, its a Toyota-- it'll last you for quite a while.  Until you wrap it around a tree going over 90 mph.

  
  

  ....................................

  
  

  Now I just realized this entry may have either:

  
  

  a) made no sense
  b) bored you to the brink of suicide
  c) made you go buy a Scion

  
  

  If its a) or b), its understandable.  If you picked c) though, I'd have to kick you in the spine several times.

  • 5:11 pm
  • 12 Comments